He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
