her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
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