i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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