One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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