OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I am one with the molecules
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
