Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
