did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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