yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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