I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
