All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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