Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
