its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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