so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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