u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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