Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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