About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
even my farts smell like vagina
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
