i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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