are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it's great music for shaving your balls
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
