Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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