There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
