I just pynch a tree in the face
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
