After last night, I could never be a politician.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
