so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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