Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
