His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
