Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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