forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
