SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
