Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
