the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
