So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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