I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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