Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
