I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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