I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
