My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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