dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
