What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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