Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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