i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
