i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize