So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
