two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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