I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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