i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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