I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
