Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
