I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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