I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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