they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
