grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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