I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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