i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
