Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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