There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he fucked my hip out of place.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
