I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
