she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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