its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize