So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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