I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
