girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
