So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This baby is an asshole
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
