My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
