If i come over, it means nothing
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize