i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
