there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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