he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
should my penis look like a turkey
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize