ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
