Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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