It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
