Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
