Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
